At the start of term …

Trying to sort out all sorts of administration at once, I came across this document that I produced in around AD 2000 when I was examinations officer in History & Welsh History at this University (I’m now chair of the examination board). Most of these are genuine, and many have my heartfelt sympathy, but a few …

Twenty-two reasons why my examination papers aren’t ready yet:

  1. I’m too busy filling in applications for research money.
  2. I’ve been too busy writing my next book but one.
  3. The papers are being translated into Welsh.
  4. I’m moving house.
  5. I forgot.
  6. It’s half term and I have to look after my school-age children [note: this was from a male colleague].
  7. My hamster died.
  8. The papers have been translated into Welsh but the external examiner wants them amending to the dialect of Llanfihangel y Creuddyn.
  9. I can’t be bothered.
  10. Oh no is it that time of year already?
  11. I’ve just moved house and I’ve been waiting for my bed to be delivered.
  12. I’m in Birmingham.
  13. I can’t remember how many questions I need to set.
  14. What did I set last year?
  15. I’ve just been converted to NT and I can’t get the printer to work.
  16. I’m at home.
  17. The external examiner wants all the double quotes changing to single quotes.
  18. I’ve just moved house and I’ve been waiting for my desk to be delivered.
  19. The external examiner wants me to rewrite my course.
  20. One of the contributors to the paper is off sick for a fortnight.
  21. I’ve broken my wrist ice skating.
  22. My wife’s just had a baby [before the days of paternity leave, folks!]

And, Helen, while you’re on the subject, can you find out for me:

  1. How can I get the exam papers printed in glorious technicolour?
  2. Why does the university rubric say that the maximum mark for the paper is 100%?
  3. Can the students take the text book into the examination?
  4. When do the exam office want details of courses assessed by course work only?
  5. Who is the external examiner?   … Who’s s/he?
  6. Can we have an extension on the submission of examination papers?
  7. Can we go somewhere else for the external examiners’ dinner this year?

And, next year, can you remember:

  1. Three students want to take their examinations in Patagonian Greek.
  2. The external examiners want to see the last three years’ past papers.
  3. I need six months’ notice of the final submission date for the examination papers.
  4. I want you to write my exam papers for me …

About gawainsmum

I'm an academic researching on the Knights Templar and Knights Hospitaller, the crusades, religion and the role of women in warfare and in religious life in medieval Europe. This blog will feature developments in my research as it progresses.
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